Letting Go
by iffulovedme
Summary: Fuji/Tezuka. Tezuka/Ryoma. Fuji/Yuuta. Convinced Tezuka has a romantic interest in Ryoma, Fuji hits Ryoma with a racket and causes him to get a concussion. Tezuka needs to do damage control, but what does that entail exactly?
1. Tsubame Gaeshi

Echizen Ryoma was busy. He was busy staring at his target. His goal. His captain. And it was for this reason that he did not see the stray tennis racket coming sideways at him. He was so entirely focused on Tezuka that he ignored the shout of "Oy! Ryoma!" and continued to stare, wondering if he'd ever surpass the current pillar_.. _

Slam. Echizen Ryoma, Seigaku's tennis team's arrogant rookie went down.

At 3:45 the hospital emitted a worried looking group of young boys, led by what seemed to be a young business man. The nurses watched in varying degrees of amusement as the rag-taggle group ran all five flights to see their ochibi when the elevator did not come fast enough.

The Seigaku regulars filled the small room, waiting anxiously for the doctor. When she arrived they all began talking at once before Tezuka cleared his throat and the quieted.

"Is he going to be okay?"

The doctor smiled. "Yes. He only has a minor concussion. He'll be fine."

All of them relaxed visibly.

She frowned slightly. "He hasn't woken up yet, which is unusual, but I'm sure he'll be fine." She glanced around and added, "Do a few of you want to stay? He'll want to see his friends when he wakes up. Only," she paused, looking a bit uncertain, "he might not recognize you straight away. It's normal; he'll recover his memory in no time. There's no need for alarm."

Tezuka nodded. "Thank you." He turned to his regulars. "I'll stay here with him. Momo, you stay too. The rest of you, back to practice. Oishi, you're in charge."

They nodded. Fuji opened his mouth but then Oishi put a hand on his arm and he closed his mouth. He sighed, casting a long look at his captain, but he followed the others. At the door he turned back and said, "Sorry, Echizen."

He didn't notice Oishi until he was next to him. "They're not dating, you know," Oishi muttered quietly.

Fuji blinked as though in confusion even as subtle relief washed through him. "I know."

"Do you?" Oishi inquired, voice low.

Fuji blinked again. "It's not like you to pry, Oishi."

Oishi held up his hands. "I'm not. I'm just saying Tezuka didn't break up with you because of Ryoma."

Fuji stopped pretending he had no idea what Oishi was talking about. "Didn't he, though?"

"He didn't," Oishi said firmly.

Fuji sighed and looked away. He couldn't hide the slight smile. He thought, _Kunimitsu, if you wanted someone, they would have no choice but to yield. So, why are you still single? I thought you wanted Echizen…Was I wrong? Do you want me back? I still want you…But you know that, so why aren't you saying anything? _Fuji didn't like thinking about things he didn't know the answers to. He slowed and glanced back to where his esteemed captain was sitting in a chair, idly flipping through a magazine. _Tezuka, you're mine, whether or not you want to be._


	2. Higuma Otoshi

Eiji was entertaining their underclassmen by the gate while Fuji stood at the baseline of a court. He was supposed to be practicing his Tsubame Gaeshi. He looked at Kaidoh who was dutifully running laps. The cerulean eyed beauty smiled faintly as his gaze fell on a certain tall, glasses wearing captain. But he was not the only one enjoying the view. Ryoma was also staring avidly at their captain. I'll teach you to steal my Tezuka away, Fuji thought vengefully.

He nodded to Kawamura who faced him opposite the course, feeding him balls. He laughed lowly as he spun, arms out stretched. Then…Fuji's grip on the racket loosened and it was suddenly whirling with uncanny precision at Ryoma's capped head.

"Feeling guilty?" Tezuka's voice interrupted Fuji's thoughts.

Fuji thought about throwing the question "About what are you referring?" but he decided against it. Instead, Fuji smiled at him. "What makes you say that?"

"The fact that you're still here," Tezuka replied easily.

"Ah." Fuji swung his legs back and forth. "I suppose I may have been a little rash."

"I want to know why."

"So now you care." Tezuka was silent. Fuji sighed but Tezuka decided to make his intentions clear.

"Fuji, you told me we weren't working."

"But I never said I wanted to break up," Fuji retorted. There was a fine distinction.

"Fine, you want to be with me then?"

Yes. Fuji wanted so badly to just say it. But that would be admitting that he still liked Tezuka. And he couldn't do that. He didn't want it to seem like he was crawling back to Tezuka. He swallowed down the longing. "As if."

"Are you jealous?"

Fuji shot him a look of utmost incredulity. "Of Ryoma? You two aren't even dating," Fuji scoffed. Then a fear took hold of his gut and he added hesitantly. "Are you?"

"We aren't."

"Does he not want you?" Fuji was dying to know. His thoughts were racing. He thought Ryoma was in love with Tezuka but…

"I'm thinking of the team. Everyone on the team knows that we split."

Fuji waited for him to shed some more light on the conversation.

"Let's try it again, Fuji."

Hold the phone. Fuji blinked. "What? You love me?" He'd dreamed of Tezuka always saying this forever that it seemed almost too good to be true. He and Tezuka belonged to each other. They were destined to be together. Both outstanding tennis players, both smart and beautiful. They both knew what it was like to be admired, envied, loved.

The time he and Tezuka had been together, Fuji had been happy, drunk on love. Fuji said "I love you" at least once a day and Tezuka said it sometimes. And the shy blush creeping over his cheeks always made Fuji want to push him into the bedroom. It made Fuji smile at the memories, but he wasn't now.

Something wasn't right. He should have been elated, but he wasn't. And by the looks of it, neither was Tezuka.

"I don't want the team to be any more divided," Tezuka clarified.

"Momo and Kaidoh aren't that bad," Fuji murmured. But he understood. The team was divided. On Tezuka's side was Oishi, Inui, Kaidoh, and of course, Echizen. Fuji's side consisted of Eiji, Momoshiro and Kawamura.

"So we should be together for the good of the team?" That's what it sounded like to Fuji.

It wasn't what he wanted. Not at all.

"I'll have to decline," Fuji said smoothly. He ignored his anger, his pain. That Tezuka could even propose such an idea…It made him want to gnash his teeth together, to snarl. But he didn't. Even with Tezuka, he had to show perfect restraint.

"It's just that…" What would bother Tezuka? What would shake his perfect little world?

Fuji let his eyes open, fluttering slightly. Twin chips of ice as he announced with a smirk gracing his not too thin lips, "I've fallen for Ryoma."


	3. Hakugei

"I don't believe you."

"Of course not. Don't be absurd Tezuka." Fuji sighed, resisting the urge to rub his eyes. Every bone in his body ached. He was so tired. He just wanted to sleep.

He waved his hand impatiently as if chasing away a bad thought.

Tezuka looked mildly relieved.

"I meant what I said Fuji. We can be together if-"

"But that's just it Tezuka. We _can't_." Fuji didn't know what else to say. He'd always thought Tezuka belonged with him. That they were meant to be. But now, looking at Tezuka's serious, calm face…Fuji couldn't feel anything other than respect.

"It's not about you or me," Fuji continued. He cracked a small smile. "It's about the team."

He didn't know what was wrong with him. He was just so damned tired. He knew he couldn't just fall asleep standing up (well he could, but he didn't want to alarm Tezuka) so did the next best thing. He sat down.

Tezuka thought about sitting but decided against it. He touched Fuji's arm.

"Are you…all right?'

"I'm great," Fuji lied.

"Are things okay with Yuuta?"

Fuji was still surprised how easily Tezuka could read him.

"He's coming home this weekend."

"Ah."

Fuji leaned his head back, resting it against the wall.

"You should go in to see Ryoma."

"If you're sure."

"Are you going to ask him out?" The words flew out of Fuji's mouth.

"If he remembers me."

The corners of Tezuka's mouth twitched and Fuji fake gasped.

"Tezuka Kunimitsu, did you just make a joke?"

"Maybe." Tezuka hesitated before walking away towards Echizen's room.

Fuji watched him go, feeling confused. Shaking his head, Fuji spent a few more minutes staring at the ceiling before he too got up. He went home, took of his shoes by the door and went to his room.

He was surprised to see his younger brother pacing.

"Aniki," Yuuta acknowledged him tersely.

"Yuuta-kun, what are you doing?"

"Pacing."

"No, I meant in my room."

"I've decided, Shuusuke." Yuuta's eyes were fever bright. "I want you."

Fuji opened his eyes. Well, that changed everything.


	4. Kagerou Zutsumi

Fuji eased himself onto the bed. This was too easy. "What's the catch?"

Yuuta looked at his brother sharply. "What do you mean?"

Fuji fingered the edge of the blanket. "Are you and Mizuki playing some sort of joke one me? It's not funny." Fuji realized he was fidgeting and stopped himself.

Yuuta came and knelt in front of his brother. Sitting back on his heels, he took Fuji's trembling hands in his own tennis calloused ones.

"I'm not joking. Aniki, look at me." Fuji's fantastically blue eyes met strong chocolate ones. "I know it's wrong. But what I feel for you, Shuusuke, it's not going away." Yuuta brought one hand up to gently cup Fuji's cheek. "Mizuki is great, he's very special to me. But he isn't you."

Fuji's heart felt very warm, very full of love. He thought he might faint. He wanted so desperately to believe his brother, screw religion, and make love to his younger brother right then and there. But that wasn't how Fuji's brain worked. Fuji had to doubt and take cautions and make sure this was absolutely what Yuuta wanted. Fuji would rather cut off his own arm than hurt Yuuta. So he had to ask. Had to be sure.

"Is he making you choose?" Mizuki _would _do something like this. It made sense. But why woudl Yuuta do this? He would choose Mizuki. Wouldn't he?

"No. I've decided. ." Yuuta straightened himself so his body made a backwards 'L' shape. He replaced his hand from where it rested on Fuji's face with his mouth. "Your brother." Another kiss, this time at the corner of Fuji's mouth. "I've chosen you." Full on the lips.

But Fuji resisted. He frowned and Yuuta pulled back.

"Why? You've never wanted my love before."

Yuuta nodded. "True. But I do now. Will you refuse me?"

"Saa." _Who knows? _Fuji tipped his head back, exposing the thin column of his neck. "I never understood what you saw in Mizuki. He's not good enough for you, Yu-kun."

"Right. Only you will do aniki. It can't be anyone else." Then Yuuta couldn't stand not kissing Fuji a moment longer. Connected once more, Yuuta sighed happily.

It was differnt from Mizuki's lips which tasted like cotton candy and caramel. The purfume he wore made Yuuta sneeze. But Fuji just smelled like cool like winter and fresh like laundry.

And this...this felt right. Except Fuji wasn't tasting, wasn't kissing him back. And that's what Yuuta needed. He needed confirmation that they were in this together. Because it was really just about them. It had always been.

"I love you, Shuusuke."

And then it was like Yuuta had said the magic words. Fuji eyes closed and they were kissing again. Only it was different. Delicously so. Open mouths, breathing in each other's moans and sighs and this, this is all Yuuta'd ever wanted.

Thin fingers embedded themselves in Fuji's hair, smooth as silk. Fuji tasted like fall leaves and frozen hot chocolate. Just sweet enough. He tasted like home.

Yuuta stood up slowly, their mouths still connected. He was standing, bending over his brother. Yuuta set one hand on Fuji's narrow shoulder and pressed gently down. But Fuji resisted.

They couldn't get carried away. Fuji had to be the responsible one. Fuji drew back, soft pants caresssing Yuuta's face. Fuji's lips were swollen and Yuuta would happily bet his were too. It was because of Fuji that Yuuta was out of breath. Because of Fuji that Yuuta knew what desire, what love was.

"We need to stop for a second. I can't think when you're kissing me."

Yuuta grinned at that.

Fuji was serious though. "We have to do this right. And that means I have to get the preperations."

"How much time do you need?"_ I don't want to wait anymore._

"I know, Yuuta. _Believe me_, I know."

"If only it was a leap year," Yuuta said wistfully. "Then we could do it next weeked on your birthday."

Fuji smiled. "How about March first? You can give me my brithday present then." He giggled.

Yuuta turned bright red. "Nii-san! Be serious!"

But then Yuuta started laughing too. Somehow, everything would sort itself out. They shared one last sweet kiss before Yuuta went back to his room. He couldn't wait for next week.


	5. Hecatoncheires no Monban

Six days later Yuuta tiptoed across the hallway and knocked on Fuji's door. It was almost midnight. Everyone except the brothers was asleep.

"Yuuta. It's February 28th."

Yuuta smiled and Fuji could hear him through the door. "I couldn't wait."

"I'm sorry," Fuji said. Something was definitely wrong. He sounded distant and vague.

"What?" Yuuta tried the handle; it was locked. The realization hit him. "Shuusuke, _open the door_. Let me in."

"No." Fuji's voice was quiet. "It's not happening, Yuuta."

Yuuta pressed his forehead into the door. He tried the handle again, hoping that in the time Yuuta's heart had been breaking the door had miraculously become unlocked.

"I'm sorry," Fuji whipsered again.

"Don't be sorry. Let me in. Please, Shu, we don't have to do anything." _I just have to make sure you're okay._

"No."

"This is about Tezuka isn't it?"

Fuji's silence was all he needed for comfirmation. "Damnit Shuusuke. Why do you go to Tezuka-san for love? I'm right here."

"I'm sorry."

"I thought you wanted me. Wanted us."

"I thought so too."

Angry, Yuuta kicked the door. "What did you do with my brother? What the fuck did you do with Shuusuke?"

"I'm right here, Yuuta," Fuji said hollowly.

"NO! No. Shuusuke would say something like that."

"It is me."

"But you're not him. Because Shuusuke loves me. He wouldn't hurt me, wouldn't lock me out."

"I'm-"

"Shuusuke, if you say you're sorry one more time I will never talk to you again."

Fuji fell silent.

"When did you go fall in love with someone else? I thought...Didn't you go out with Tezuka-san to make me jealous? That's so twisted in and of itself."

"I can't take you down with me," Fuji told him. Yuuta could hear Fuji's voice raise a few octaves the way it always did just before he started crying. "I couldn't do that to my baby brother. If nothing else, I'm going to save you, Yuuta. I'm going to save you from me."

"What if I don't want to be saved?" Yuuta shot back. "What if..." But Yuuta knew it was no use. Fuji had made up his mind. The door would stay locked. They were just going to be brothers.

Then Yuuta heard the worst sound in the world. The sound of tears sliding down Fuji's pale cheeks. The thought made his own throat constrict.

"Shuusuke, you're crying. Don't cry." _I hate it when you cry_. _It makes me feel so damn helpless. _"I'll go away. We can just be brothers. Whatever, just don't push me away. Don't cry, Shu, don't..God, just stop crying. Do it for me. Okay?"

"All right, Yuuta," came the shaky murmur. "All right."

"You promised we'd always be together." Yuuta cursed himself. It sounded like he was whining. He, Yuuta, did _not _whine.

"We will, Yuuta, we will be."

And really, it was as if time hadn't passed. They were still kids and Yuuta had done something foolish and was hurting and Fuji was trying to make it all better.

Only time doesn't stop just becuase you want it to. Yuuta knew this. Really.

"So you love Tezuka, huh?"

"Yes. I guess I do." And god, it hurt Yuuta for Fuji to sound so confused and happy and in love.

"Then why aren't you with him?"

"He doesn't love me."

"Whatever." _That's not a reason. _Yuuta shook his head. "Then go get him, Aniki. They call you the tensai, right? If anyone can make Tezuka fall in love, it's you."


	6. Hoshi Hanabi

"Thought you'd still be here," Fuji murmured, taking a seat by the door in the hospital room. "How's Echizen doing?"

Tezuka stood by the window, his back to Fuji. "He's fine. He woke up an hour ago." He turned around. "He's sleeping now."

"I see," Fuji said because he didn't know what else to say. "Look, Tezuka, I'm sorry about this." _I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just in love with you. _

"He'll make a full recovery." Tezuka wrinkled his forehead. "We talked about you."

Fuji fought to hide his anxiety. "Did you?"

"Aa. He said," and here Tezuka looked very serious, almost too serious, "quote, 'Tell Fuji-sempai we're not dating. And he has a long way to go if he thinks buchou likes anyone else but him.' End quote."

Fuji had to be certain. "So, you don't like him?"

"There's only one person I like," Tezuka said seriously. He knelt by Fuji's chair so they were eye to eye.

"Then why did you break up with me?" Fuji demanded.

When Tezuka didn't answer, another voice piped up. This one was arrogant though slightly groggy. "Because buchou thought Fuji-sempai was going to leave first."

"What?"

Tezuka finally spoke. "Rumor has it that you're leaving us for Rikkai Dai."

"Oh, that." Fuji shrugged and enjoyed the shocked silence.

Then Echizen's young voice demanded, "What do you mean, 'oh, that'?"

"My parents had applied for a transfer a while back. I completely forgot about it."

"What made you decide to stay?" Echizen asked curiously. Tezuka had yet to find his voice.

"You could say _you_, Echizen, are my reason for staying," Fuji said sweetly.

"And buchou," Echizen added for his captain's sake. Tezuka looked close to fainting.

But Fuji shook his head. "Not exactly. See, it might almost have been easier if Tezuka and I weren't best friends. If I left, I could challenge Tezuka as a rival, and not as a team mate. I could challenge myself too. Rikkai Dai's tennis team has won Nationals two years in a row. Anyway, I visited a couple months ago. I met with Yukimura. He told me if I transferred, that was my business. But if I was planning on playing tennis, I could not be promised a spot." Yukimura had also said that he could do anything that might harm Tezuka Kunimitsu's potential. Yukimura seemed to think Tezuka's tennis would evolve if Fuji stayed at Seigaku. And Yukimura wanted Tezuka to be at his best when they dueled at nationals.

"Che, we still have to finish our match, sempai. The rain saved you."

"Maybe," Fuji agreed. Glancing back at Tezuka, Fuji was alarmed to see that Tezuka's expression was even blanker than usual. "Ne, Mitsu, are you okay?"

Tezuka stared hard at Fuji. "You're definitely staying, then?"

"Ma, I don't know." Fuji's aqua eyes glowed. "Can you convince me?"

Echizen shut his eyes just in time. He kept him closed and whistled, "Mada mada dane, sempai."

But Tezuka and Fuji were too concerned with kissing the other to respond to their troublesome kouhai.

~Fin


End file.
